Leaving the Heirlooms to Your Heirs
For many of us, one of the most special parts of Christmas is pulling down those heirloom Christmas decorations passed down for generations. At our house, it’s Elizabeth’s ceramic Christmas trees. As these items are pulled down from the attic, it’s natural to wonder: who will take care of these when I’m gone?
Distributing your “stuff” can be one of the messiest aspects of estate administration. It goes without saying that you’re asking for trouble if you don’t have any planning in place. But even with a will, it can be tricky.
The Memorandum
It’s been a long time since testators itemized every possession in their wills but even today many clients still feel the need to list out their family heirlooms and prized possessions. North Carolina permits you to make a separate list to say who gets what so as not to clutter up your actual will. However, to be binding and enforceable, that list generally must exist at the time you sign your will. This is, of course, highly impractical as you wouldn’t want to have to re-execute your will every time you update the list.
The alternative is to still maintain a list but with the understanding that it’s mostly just moral guidance for your executor. Regardless, resist the urge to list everything you can think of. Stick to 5-10 items of real value and let the rest go into the general pot (your estate’s “residue”).
A Simpler Approach
It’s okay if you want to avoid lists entirely. I encourage many of my clients to consider just adding something to the effect of “I leave my tangible personal property to children to be divided as they agree. If they cannot agree, my Executor will decide.” I personally prefer this method as it ensures that those prized heirlooms go to those who value it most and not just the one you thought ought to have it. Plus, knowing the executor will step in is usually enough to force siblings to cooperate quickly.
Which brings me to my next point… It is painful to hear, but your children may not want your “junk.” If they don’t have the space, your gift becomes a burden they have to pay to haul away. Ask them now what they actually want. If they say no, consider selling or donating it while you are here to see it go to a good home.
Final Thought
Ultimately, this process isn’t just about protecting your assets but protecting your relationships as well. The goal is to ensure that many Christmas seasons from now, your children can still sit around the table without resentment over who got the grandfather clock… or the ceramic Christmas trees.
About Bryan King
Bryan King is an estate planning attorney and partner at Haithcock, Barfield, Hulse & King, PLLC, based in Goldsboro, North Carolina. He is a member of the North Carolina Bar Association’s Estate Planning Section as well as the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys. When he is not practicing law or writing the Friday Brief, he finds joy in family time, attending to his dog, and serving on the board of the North Carolina Down Syndrome Alliance. Feel free to donate to NCDSA here.